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GAH!!!!!!!!

Thu Jul 2, 2009, 2:53 PM
I am so fucked off right now, I really feel like I want to damage something I'm sitting here trapped in this god forsaken life that honestly driving me to insanity. The problem is I can't acctually vent any feelings I have at all because I don't want to vent my crazy in a place when my freinds can see it. The only reason I'm posting here is that this is place that my friends fequent the least, which is part of the problem cause you think think that my friends would WANT to check out my writings and Change of Mood GAH! I'm truely borderlines here. Normally I just get depressed, eat some comfort food and be done with it. But this time I'm the opposite I'm in a rage! Seriously! WHY THE FUCK WHEN I POUR MY HEART INTO WORK OF \ANY KIND, WRITING, COMICS, ANYTHING! ALL I GET IN RETURN IS BLANK LOOKS AND EMPTY PROMISES! Is my work so fucking bad, so fucking awful that it doesn't even deserve a first look? Fuck! Meyer writ a handle full of books about a leech that stalks a fucking mary-sue and it gets a movie series A FUCKING MOVIE SERIES. There's no way in this or any other universe that my work is worse than the pieces of pure and utter FUCKING SHIT that is Twilight! If it is I swear to god I'm quiting writing, but I doubt anyone fucking cares anyway since NO ONES READING THE FUCKING THE THINGS! I try the best I can to tell a story, to make the characters and plots interesting, why is my stuff so people repelent, so maybe it's a little dialog heavy and descriptive thin, so what that I only have a D grade english GCSE? So absolutly FUCKING WHAT! Then there's my own personal life thats fucking me right off the deep end. I'm sick to death of being the 3rd wheel to my friends. I'm literally the only single one of my local friend, and while there are I few women locally that I wouldn't mind asking out I can't for one reason or another mainly cause I'M IN A FUCKING WHEELCHAIR! And while I have have no anger or depression to my disability myself, you seriously have no clue how hard it is to get a woman to even so much as look at you when your in a wheelchair let alone when your as big as I am. And when you're sitting in a room sounded by your friends and their fiance's/wives... all I can ever hope to do is disappear into my own little world with a joypad in my hands hoping that my friends know just how FUCKING LUCKY they are to have found someone, cause whatever divine being is up there help me, I've given up looking for ANY type of happiness relationship wise. Sisyphus was lucky, at least in his personal hell he was able to reach the top of the hill.

Ahh fuck it, no one cares anyway.

  • Mood: Pissed Off

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:iconpachipokegrrl:
Life's a bitch and then you die. Isn't it lovely?

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My Cheese is Cold
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~HieixKuramaClub
~bishie-stalker-club
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Maybe I'm crazy but if this is a free country, why aren't we permitted to love who we want to love?
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If you need to talk, even if I don't know you, I'll listen! ^_^
:iconoverfiend-87:
well despite what you think, I care. You are a good writer and very few people do actually read writings on DA. I get alot less comments than you do on your stuff so I know exactly how you feel in that regard. It's a pain in the ass, but I just neeed to push myself to keep going through my DA watch. There's still 2,616 deviations I havn't looked through because I've been procrastinating.

My personal probably with asking women out is that I'm too afraid and in my previous condition I almost never had a bath and must've smelt something awful, however I have been cleaning myself regularly and brushing teeth, ect but still nothing, however I would perfer to remain loyal to Nicole.

I know about how some people look at someone with a disability and see things as a charity, which is wrong but it's the same with racism where we create more laws about how not to insult someone about their personal effects it splits people up and just makes them hate everyone else even more. You are one of the most intellectual people I have ever spoken with and was glad to meet you in person at the Omega Sektor for the CoX meet.

You should remember that I am here to lsiten even though I do procrastinate a stupid amount of time. I still havn't gotten back to my writing yet so I think I'll go through my Deviant watch to cut down the pile of stuff. I always enjoyed your Sortian stories and I really should've given that a read sometime ago, but things have been difficult with other things to concentrait on and ect.

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my :gallery: might have something that interests you :).

Come look at look at cowell81 stories. Take it from me. I live in fiction and he writes like a pro.
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